So today is another birthday. Yay. Today, I'llbeturningthirtyfour. I mean, today, I'll be 27. Again.
I hate birthdays. Not so much that it's the anniversary of my birth insomuch as it marks another year of still-getting-older-ness
I've always hated getting older. Ever since I was young and was cognizant of the fact that getting older meant that your whole body aged. Getting older meant more responsibility. Getting older meant having less fun.
Since this year started, I've actually found myself becoming more reflective of my life. I'm taking more responsibility for my thoughts and my actions. I'm planning for the future. In short, I'm turning into the a-dolt (note this is not a misspelling) that I've dreaded all these years of becoming.
People say that they rather enjoy their years after their early 20s. Why? I loved being in my early 20s, and I miss those years greatly.
One thing I hear over and over again is that people want to go through their early 20s, but with the wisdom and experience that they have now. I differ on that opinion. Think about it. If you went through your early 20s with the experience you had now, would you be the same person that you are today? Would you had made the same choices that you did back then. Somehow I doubt it. That's what life experience is about people. Not knowing (or always heeding) the consequences of your choices and actions, you embark on a path that is life, and through your adventures and misadventures, you gain experience and wisdom.
One thing that I yearn for is youthful innocence. The whole world was opened to you then. There was none of this "I can't do this because of XYZ". Exuberance wasn't tempered by caution. In fact, caution was thrown in the wind. You were invincible. The world was yours. I don't think any one of us can really get that feeling back, even if we tried. We're too weighed down by common sense and hindsight.
When I was young, I looked at people in their 30s and thought that they were old looking, knowing full well that I'd be like them one day. That day has been here for quite a while. Every day I look in the mirror and see an aging self. I look around those who are in their early 20s and see how young they look. People say I still look like I'm in my 20s. I beg to differ. If I stood next to one that was in their early 20s, you would be able to pick out the aging body in a heartbeat.
I miss being able to eat anything I want and not gain weight. I miss the youthful glow. I miss the perky boobs and bum. I miss being able to stay up until late in the night and not feel the consequences the next morning.
Now for those of you who say "Well, your 30s are something to enjoy!" Popycock I say. I like the clothing that the early 20s wear. I would look ridiculous in the same clothing when I'm in my 30s. When flipping through my InStyle magazines, they show you a clothing trend, and show you how you can incorporate those trends using "age appropriate clothing". If that's not a sign of aging, I don't know what is. I look at clothing in Jacob and Banana Republic, and I find that those styles to be "too old looking" for my tastes (I'm not slagging other people's styles, this is just my own personal preference). I want to be able to wear that Paul Frank t-shirt or mini-skirts 20 years from now and not look like I'm too old to wear it. I don't want to "dress my age". Bleh.
And what about those who are starting to think about wrinkle or anti-aging creams? Those products are there to help you stay looking young. My thinking is, is that if you're using these products, you're not embracing your middle life, you're desperately trying to grasp at what is quickly slipping away through your fingers. If one is to embrace aging gracefully, one should reject any attempts at fighting the aging process, correct? Otherwise, won't you be labeled as a contrarian?