KOOKY: How Many?

One thing about working in a large, disjointed organization like a
university is that you don't know how you should count the number of
employees that actually work at your organization. It's not so much a
problem that there is constantly a great number of employees influxing
and outfluxing; that does happen. The logistic nightmare occurs when you
try to categorize who you belong to.

As I surf around on the Internet, I occasionally run into a survey that
someone wants me to fill out in order for me to get to the information.
One of the questions they ask is: "How many employees work at your
organization?" Normally, this should be a simple question. But it's
anything but simple when you consider the nature of the university.

For instance, I'm a separate group that's a part of the Dean's Office,
and they in turn are a part of the Faculty of Medicine, and the Faculty
is a part of the university. However, our group is seen as a distinct
unit from the Dean's Office, with its own budget. So is the Dean's
office, and in turn, the Faculty. So in terms of the word
"organization", what do you mean? Please clarify.

Then you get the people who work for these units. There are some people
who, although they work for one unit, actually gets paid by another
unit. Are counted as part of your unit then? Or what about those people
who are shared by different units? We actually have quite a number
people who are partially funded by the Faculty, and partially funded by
a party; some of these parties are even outside of the university. Do we
only count them as 50% of an employee? 74.52% of an employee?

So back to the question: "How many employees work at your organization?"
If this response exists, I choose: "I don't know". It's a pity I can't
answer: "You have got to be kidding me, right?"