Wednesday Laugh

I really need a good laugh right about now. This was emailed to me at work.

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Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor.

The professor addressed his class: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will email your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me."

"The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the email. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was turned in by two of his English students, Rebecca and Gary:

[First paragraph by Rebecca]
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

[Second paragraph by Gary]
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron Now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than The neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and holed through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

[Rebecca]
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one
morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

[Gary]
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

[Rebecca]
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

[Gary]
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

[Rebecca]
Asshole.

[Gary]
Bitch.

[Rebecca]
F-CK YOU, YOU NEANDERTHAL!

[Gary]
Go drink some tea, slut!!

[Professor]
A+ - I really liked this one.

Fartman

Someone had sent this to me. I wasn't sure how to take it, fart humour isn't exactly my cup of tea (meaning I don't find it funny, but I'm certainly not offended by it). Anyways, here it is...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ofn8-3SWd8M

Persuasion. Well, not quite.

I hate Masterpiece Theatre. I had heard that the latest Persuasion adaptation wasn't that good. But Masterpiece Theatre did one better by editing it. Badly. They took out a bunch of scenes that should have been left in, in order to make this a 90 minute show. What ended up being broadcasted was a big crazy mess. I certainly didn't understand all the running around, and the over-superciliousness. Really, I get it. Enough over-acting and melodrama, please.

I was willing to give this adaptation a chance. I mean how much justice can you really do in two hours (that turned into 90 mins) of a Jane Austen classic? And how accurate and true to the book will it be? Not as much as many would like. But even still, it was horrid to watch. The worse was that I couldn't see very much character development in the main characters, and I blame the script for that. And the over editing. However, the kiss at the end, now that was painful to watch. For that, I blame the director.

This post really says it all...

I'm going to have to buy the DVD, I've heard that all the deleted parts are in it, thank goodness. Hopefully some of the mess will make some sense. Hopefully. Well, I was going to buy the DVD anyways, because I'm a geek.

Hopefully the next one will be better...

Movie Review: The Illusionist

Set in turn-of-the-century Vienna, The Illusionist is about a magician that can do great magic. Of course, there are bad guys, and of course, there is a woman involved; when is there not? The woman is way above his social standing. And the bad guy? The Crown Prince. Throw in a police inspector, and you've got lots of drama.

I thought this movie was really well done. It kept me guessing as to what was going to happen next, and there was definitely the right amount of tension throughout. I felt tense watching the "bad guy", and in the end, was even wondering how bad he really was by the end of it. Yes, the bad guy was bad, but was he as bad as the audience was lead to believe?

I won't give you too many spoilers, but Eisenheim, the main character, played brilliantly by Edward Norton, does dupe them all. How, is something you'll have to find out by watching the movie. But there are enough twists and turns in the movie to make it interesting and will keep you guessing. Sure, the ending's cheesy, but that's love for you.

One other thing I liked about this movie is that it's not often you see a movie set in a place like Vienna, in that time period. And about a magician of all things.

9 out of 10.

Movie Review: Stardust

Hubby and I decided to rent Stardust because we had heard good things about it and we had both wanted to watch it but never got a chance to.

What can I say, after seeing it, I fell in love with this movie. So much so that I'd decided to buy it. My DVD just came in the mail today. Whoo!

Stardust is fairytale about a nerdy guy named Tristan (played by unknown actor Charlie Cox) who goes to look for a star (named Yvaine) that has fallen out of the sky (played by Clare Danes), so he can impress the village beauty Victoria (Sienna Miller). Tristan along the way becomes the hero (although I wasn't that fond of his longer hairstyle in the second half of the movie, I now have a new actor crush. Sigh), and wins the fair Yvaine's heart.

Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer were also in the movie, and both did an awesome job, although I think De Niro was having a little too much fun with his role. But in a good way that made the movie fun to watch. The rest of the acting was great.

It's a fairy tale in a similar style like The Princess Bride, but the story's much simpler, in my opinion. It's charming, funny, has ghosts, pirates, bad princes and very old evil witches. And of course, true love. There's enough appeal for both children and adults alike. Yes, it has it's fluffy, happy ending, but it is a fairy tale after all. And there's not too much fluff or mush to turn anyone off.

Now I've read some negative comments about the movie, such as the CGI wasn't up to Lord of the Rings quality. One person felt that there really wasn't any real cues that told him that Tristan had crossed over from the land of humans into fairyland, like the do in other movies. Give me a break. LOTR was this multi-million dollar project, and for the second comment, you, stop relying on Hollywood to make up for a sorry excuse of an imagination. My only real criticism of the movie was that the plot was slightly weak in some parts, but it wasn't enough to detract from the plot.

The director had set out to make a film that was appealing to both adults and children, and I think he's succeeded. It also encouraged me to read the book, so that will be coming in the mail shortly. Review for that forthcoming...

8.5 out of 10 stars. A must see.

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

What is the difference between a movie star and a movie actor?

A movie star acts, sometimes tolerably well, many times not so well.

A movie actor makes you believe that you are actually watching and relating/reacting/empathising with the character.

Johnny Depp is a movie actor. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom are movie stars. Never mind about my normal rant about Keira's slouchiness, one other thing that she does in every single freaking movie that I've seen her in (Bend it Like Beckham, Love Actually, King Arthur, Pride and Prejudice, and the other two Pirate movies), she does this silly pouty lips thing. Really. If you don't believe me, go and read comments about Atonement, the director told her to stop it. All I could see was Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom pretending to be another character. Bor-ing.

But even great movie actors can't save a really bad script, I feel that Pirates 2 and Pirates 3 were movies that should have never been done. They made the story too complicated. Although the characters Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner have bigger roles in Pirates 3 (a complaint I had about Pirates 2), I felt like banging my head against the wall while watching the movie. There was a plot, but it was so confusing and tedious that it really wasn't worth telling the story.

Hubby and I couldn't remember the plot to Pirates 2, so we had actually stopped the movie to read about it online. How sad was that? And any time I sit and wonder when the movie's going to end is not a good sign. I'm usually one who tries to keep an opened mind, but the abysmal script kept me wanting for the bad guys to win.

I couldn't pick out any good parts. I can tell you some things that let me down:

• Norrington's death was poorly done and glossed over (I actually sympathised with his character, plus this is yet another example of what a proper movie actor is, in my opinion; one doesn't have to like the character to admire a good actor)
  
• Calypso's fury was lame and drawn out too much
  
• They could have easily cut the "voting of the Pirate King" scene in half
• Jack Sparrow's schizophrenic scenes should have been cut out all together
• The entire scene where they were in Davy Jones' locker was boring, and when Elizabeth Swann found out that her father died, I was hoping that she would jump into his little boat with him.
  
• I was actually happy that Elizabeth and Will couldn't be together in the end. That's what they get for boring me to death.
  
• I actually like most of the other actors in the movie, but even they couldn't save me from wanting to poke a sharp object in my eye.
  

What is the biggest downer of the Pirates trilogy was that the first movie was great. I liked it because it was different, it was fresh, it was fun, and it was an entertaining movie. Pirates 2 and 3 weren't. Disney should have stopped after the first one.

I'd give this one a 4 out of 10.

Movie Review: National Treasure: Book of Secrets

I saw a bunch of movies over the holidays, so I'd thought put up my thoughts before I forget.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Well, it was okay, not great, bot okay. The search for the actual treasure was at least somewhat entertaining. But it was entertaining up to the point where they actually go and look for the lost city of gold. From that point onwards, it was just a big mess. I sat there either wondering why they did things the way they did, cringing at drawn out scenes that were full of some type of action (and not even great action) and wondering why they did it that way, or just plain scratching my head at non-explanations of events. And that was about the last 1/3 of the movie.

I was excited about seeing Paris and London scenes, makes me want to go back again. Especially London.

6.8 out of 10.

Happy 2008!

Happy New Year Everyone!

I'm not one to make New Year Resolutions, but if you are, I've found something that may help you.

Also, for those of you who have resolved to drink less coffee (or more!), so interesting pros and cons, but be forewarned: like anything else on the Internet, double-check the information, in particular, with your doctor. Me, I think coffee is one of the vilest things on Earth. Blech!!

Have a great 2008 everyone!

Boss and Employee Articles

As I stumble along the road called Middle Management, I am on the constant lookout for articles that will help me on my journey of being "The Best Boss in the Whole Wide World". While this is a very lofty goal, and realistically, I'd just as well be happy with the title of "A Good Boss", it never hurts to aim high, right? Right?

Anyways, here are a bunch of articles I found interesting, let me know what you think:

Speaking with Integrity - Do the right thing and speak truthfully

How to be a Good Boss - I suck at delegating, but am trying to get better

Common Sense Management

Personality Types - this is how to go about communicating to different personality types. I'd actually learned something similar in my Peer-to-Manager course, but the instructor used slightly different terminology. Fundamentally though, the ideas are the same. Through this exercise, I have sort of figured out how to better communicate with my boss. Now to make sure I can better communicate with the rest of the world. Sigh.

Hack your Boss - What your boss wants or doesn't want. Just as I am a boss, I too have a boss who has expectations of me.

How to Deal with Micromanagers - This is a kick in the butt reminder for me as well as good tips for everyone else. You can't believe the number of times I've caught myself going down the path of micromanaging my employees, and yet for every time I manage to catch myself and stop, I've probably just as many times have micromanaged people. I hate being micromanaged, and honestly, micromanaging others sucks up my time and energy.

Dissatisfaction in the Workplace - It's all about attitude baby!

Get a Great Annual Review - Also a handy way to keep your resume fresh

FLIB-ur-tee-jib-it (n.) is 2!!!

Whoot! So I've been blogging for two years now. Wow! I hope you found the blog somewhat interesting to read. It's definitely been an interesting year for me, and 2008, well I can't predict what will happen other than I will finish my stupid Evil Homework!

However, I do have a number of things to blog about before 2007 closes off, more to come as the days progress. I have this week off from work, so you will see something!

Christmas wasn't too bad for me. My sister was in town and we had Christmas dinner on the 24th, then Christmas Dim Sum on the 25th as my sister had to leave later that afternoon. I ended up spending Christmas night having Christmas Dinner with some of my Dad's family. Adventures abounded of me trying to find a strange house in the dark of winter, driving up a mountain no less, while it was snowing. Good times. No misadventures met up with me, thank goodness, and I was able to enjoy a hearty Christmas dinner, and reconnecting with some family I hadn't seen in some time. Then up early on Boxing Day for some shopping! I walked away with some nice booty, and even a sweater for hubby!

H0pe everyone is having a lovely holiday!

Happy Christmas!!!!

Click on the image above to see it properly. Happy Christmas everyone!

KOOKY: Yet another...

Promotion!

As I had alluded to in an earlier post, I had some news that I couldn't share just yet. Well, the reason why was because my boss hadn't told everyone at work yet.

So I go from being Team Lead to being Manager. Ooooooohhhhh!!!!

What does this mean for me? A little more pay, not much more I think. The biggest change is that I do very little technical stuff now (or I shouldn't be doing any technical stuff any longer). And more strategic work on my part.

So that's the big news. Manager. Still very strange to me.

365 Days of Pictures: More Christmas Lights

Hubby had changed the lights up a few days ago...

Inside lights now complete with stocking!


More outside lights!

This is our Christmas present to our mum, tickets to Cirque du Soleil's Corteo that's coming to town next summer. This will be the fifth Cirque du Soleil show I've seen, the others being (in order of when I've seen them): Saltembanco, Alegria, "O", Mysterie. (And if you count the film Journey of Man that they made back in 1999, which was my actual introduction to Cirque, then that count goes up to six). "O" is by far still my favourite, and I have generally found the stage shows to be better than the tent shows. However, it's been a while since I've seen one, so I'm stoked to going to see this one!

Another Update

Yes, going another week without blogging. Bad me. I have been busy, and I actually have two pieces of news to share. One I can't share quite yet in Internet-land, but hopefully by the end of next week I will be able to. And for PJ3 and the rest of my faithful followers who are trying to guess what's behind door number one, no, I am not pregnant! But still, it is good news, just news that I don't feel yet is the right time to put up on the ol' blog. However, if you know me in real life, I will tell you my news--for the right price (chocolate!).

The other piece of news has to do with school. Without getting into the details as to the absolute project management disaster this whole debacle has been since day one, I had yet another breakdown about it about two weeks ago and cried bitterly on hubby's shoulder for a good half an hour. Shortly after that, I spoke at great lengths with my advisor. The long and short of it is that come hell or high water, I will be handing in my report come May 1, and I'm done with this hellish project after 2.5 years. Regardless of what happens after that, this is the biggest weight off my shoulder. This thing has felt like an absolute albatross around my neck, one that I can finally cut loose from. Bu bye birdie!

Something fun to leave you with as I sign off: Hubby and I enjoying ourselves at our annual Bible Study Group Christmas Party. I think I look like a bucked-toothed, horsey-faced idiot in the picture. Good times!

365 Days of Pictures: Christmas Lights!

My hubby rocks! I was going to ask him to put the Christmas lights this weekend, only he beat me to it. I found him putting up the lights when I got home. Yes, I know it's not a lot of lights, but I'm not much of a Christmasy person. Still some lights help bring a bit of a festive air to my humble abode, n'est pas?

Snow!

This was taken at about 12.30 pm this past Sunday. 24 hours later, all of the snow was gone.

365 Days of Photos

Proof that Vancouver does get snow! This is my front yard today, at about 9pm



My lunch. All you can eat Indian buffet. Yum!

KOOKY: Time to celebrate!

Yesterday, our larger group had it's monthly Tea Party. Everyone is supposed to take turns hosting the party and this month, it was our turn. This is where everyone gets together to celebrate the birthdays for that month. What it really is, it's an excuse to take a 1/2 hour off work to cram bad-for-you food in your system and socialise.

Many times people have themes (eg Halloween). Sometimes we play really insipid parlour games. My group, we are so not into that. It was a huge pain trying to figure out what we were going to bring, never mind the fact that none of us had the inclination to think of an actual theme, we had better things to do. Okay, we kinda had a theme: bad food that you love to eat! Only someone even ruined that by bringing in veggies and dip (although I suppose that the dip's really not good for you).

My offerings were a couple of bottles of Orangina and Cheese Puffs (I was feeling orangey). If you've never had Orangina before, try hard to get your hands on some, this stuff is sooooo good. I had even gone to two different stores to find it, I was dead set on getting some. The first time I tried it, it was at a friend's house. Let me tell you, I will never go back to vile orange pop again, I was converted! Soooo yummy! Sooooo good! I was in heaven when we went to Paris, they sell this stuff all over Europe. I don't think those people even know what the yucky orange pop is like.

Anyways, despite the lack of theme, boring games, or even a real birthday cake (the closest thing was a cheesecake), the party was a smashing success.

***

Another thing that I had to share with you, I found out that I got a raise with my promotion. My promotion was effective as of May 1 this year, but I had stupidly failed to ask my boss if I was going to get a raise. I went through a performance review only 4 months prior, and they had given me a huge raise then. I was shocked that they had given me the promotion, so I suppose it was excusable not to have a brain at that point.

Anyways, I was in my boss's office the other day talking to him about something. Somehow we got talking about how he was pulling his hair out with HR, and my promotion didn't go through properly, hence the reason why I didn't see more money on my paycheques.

Quoi? (That's French for What? for you non-Francophone types)

It turns out that it was my manager's fault for not knowing that the Faculty had yet another step for finalising staff appointments, and he's been spending a good deal of time straightening the whole mess out (not just my appointment, but a whole whackload of them. He really hates HR even more now!) This interprets as some inefficient process was created eons ago and never removed, causing more red tape, needless paperwork, and ultimately, job security for someone. Sigh, working here is certainly never boring.

Anyhoo, once I print off the contract, sign it and return it to the proper channels, I will get a whopping $101.79 more per month. That's before taxes and other deductions. My boss did tell me that my raise wasn't much, but in the same breath, asked if I hadn't noticed anything in my paycheques. Really, after all the deductions, I'd be luck to have received an extra $20 in my wallet. (In fact, I'm certain once the government is done with me at income tax time, I'll probably be further back than if I hadn't received the raise, such is life).

But yay me! Raise! Whoo!

Life, maybe not so boring...

I do have one little piece of exciting news. Well, exciting to me.

We paid off the car loan.

One year ahead of schedule.

Whoo. Go us!